Once upon a dumb Bob story, Bob went to the grocery store. He bought ice-cream and butter and milk and apples and bananas and grapes and peppers and broccoli and fish and chicken and cashews and root beer and water and mac and cheese and lettuce and bread and ham and onions. His total was: a big number. When Bob got home, he realized that he was allergic to everything he bought. (He has 159 known allergies.) So he gave it all to a hobo.

SCENE ONE: Introducing the Kinney Twins

(Starts off in driveway. A flustered LUANN, mother of 8-year-old twins, CHARLEE and BENNETT, steps out of the house.)

Luann: Where are those children? I told them to come back from the park at 5:15 to get ready for Meet the Teacher! If their behavior doesn’t improve for this year... Well, I won’t think about it. I have to find them. It starts in 10 minutes, and we’re a good 15 minutes away from the school. My work is never done!

(Just as LUANN goes to get them, a muddy CHARLEE and BENNETT ride up on their bikes. CHARLEE’s glasses are broken. BENNETT has a large scratch from his cheek that runs down his neck.)

Charlee: Hi, Mom. We’re home!

Bennett: Sorry we were late.

Luann: Charlee and Bennett Kinney! What ever happened?

Charlee: Ashley was being mean! She popped our kickball!

Bennett: She ruined the whole game! And our team was winning!

Luann: Just please tell me, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!

Charlee: Well, we sorta, kinda...

Luann: Yes?

Bennett: Pushed her down from the top of the jungle gym.

Luann: Children! That’s terrible! I am going to have to take away all privileges. No TV, computer, phone...

Charlee: Okay, we get it. The usual.

April 3

Dear Diary,

Church was sooo boring. My mom didn’t even let me wear my high heels. They are only 6 inches!! Even though I brought my Coach Purse, which had my iPhone Touch in it, I almost fell asleep. iPhone Touches are such lame phone. It is the best phone I have, though. 1 min. into mass my mom took my phone away. I guess next time I should turn the sound on my phone off. So now I am grounded from the mirror for a half an hour and my make up for a day.

I am so depressed.

Your BFF,

Ashley

SUPER CAT!!!

By Caroline W.

Super cat is not your average super hero. For one thing, he’s a cat. For another thing, instead of saving the world, he fights for the rights of squirrels. The reverse of nature!!! If he sees a squirrel in danger in pain, Super Cat will be there in five seconds. After he saves the squirrel, the people of his city wait for him, clapping and wearing cat and squirrel costumes. Super Cat is a HUGE super hero. He even has his own theme song, AND headquarters!

Here is a tour of his HQ. Here is the TV screen that shows squirrels in danger.

This is Super Cat himself!

This is Super Cat’s closet!!!